Let’s change the way we respond to pain
“Let the pain make you a leader, not a monster.” —Sunil Sindhwani
When we get hurt, we so often respond out of self-protection, fear, vengeance, and pure impulse, rather than slowing down to notice that we’ve been hurt, validating our own pain without needing others to take our side, and thoughtfully deciding how (or if) to respond.
Left to grow and mutate unchecked, pain can make us into awful creatures.
I’ve let the pain in my life turn me into someone who has deeply selfish tendencies, who has isolated himself from intimacy while blaming his partners, who has betrayed those he loved, and who responds reflexively and defensively more often than not.
That is not only not leadership, it has also been deeply destructive and painful to those around me.
But even if my pain-driven actions didn’t hurt those around me, they still serve to isolate me from myself, from others, and from a profound sense of peace and purpose.
So my work – and perhaps yours – is to notice the pain, to notice the impulse to respond destructively, and, rather than armouring up for battle, running away to hide, or lashing out, to slowly stand up with my voice soft, my arms wide, and my heart open.
📷: the brilliant and gorgeous and immensely loving @syannawand