I Feel Hopeful About the Future
Hope is the way through the narrow gate.
I’m a skeptic, and I’m skeptical of myself, too.
I think that’s a good thing.
I don’t believe everything I think.
But sometimes in life, it’s hard to know what to think, or what to believe, or what to do.
I was talking with a dear friend this afternoon. We were talking about life and choices and uncertainty, and I said something like this:
“I don’t know, man… Most of the time, I’m really hopeful, but am I hopeful just because I’m afraid of the consequences of being more realistic?
There’s no way to know whether my hope, which is solely my own feeling and story, is warranted.
There’s no way to see outside my own subjective experience, so there’s no way to assess whether my hope is “blind” or whether it’s justified, or neither, but it doesn’t really matter, because at the end of the day, all I can ever experience is my own internal, subjective reality anyway, so if I feel hopeful, that means that it’s correct.
Could I be lying to myself to try to avoid future pain, or because of fear of loss?
Could I be experiencing hope because I’m anxious about what might happen if I accept a dimmer view of the future?
Maybe, but since I currently feel hope, I am hopeful.
I, Dallas Hartwig, am hopeful.
And for today, that’s good enough.”
I got rambly, sure, but the idea that I don’t need to second guess my own subjective experience really soothed my nerves in that conversation.
Right now, I feel hopeful about the future, and that feels good, and I’m not going to talk myself out of it.
As they say, the only thing stronger than fear is hope.