Sometimes, we forget that we’re growing…

Recently, someone who knows me well — both my awesome characteristics and my ugly ones — sat me down and pointed out a behaviour of mine that isn’t very considerate or healthy.

It’s not “wrong” per se, but it made them feel uncomfortable, and despite their observations being delivered in a gentle and considerate manner, goddamn it was hard to not take it all really personally, to feel judged, or to feel criticised and rejected. (I partially succeeded.)

It could have been worse, and Dallas from a year or ten ago would have totally lost his mind, but… I didn’t.

I listened, I clarified, I asked questions, and I admitted the truth that was underneath their concern.

Sometimes, we forget that we are learning and growing because there is still so much potential, so much work yet to be done, and so many imperfections still rearing their ugly heads on a regular basis.

But, what I realised was that, despite me having much more work to do, I’ve come a long way, and that feels good to recognise.

Take a moment and ask yourself, “what have I done recently that I would have handled with less love, compassion, or gentleness a year or two ago?”

If you can’t think of anything, ask yourself this: “what have I done recently that I wish I had done differently, and how can I do it differently next time?”

Sometimes, simple questions do yield simple answers.

Here’s to being better humans together.

Have a similar experience you want to share? Use the comments below. We can all learn from each other.

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4 Comments

  • Karrie M

    I was secretly hoping you were going to share the conversation you had with your friend! This is a really good reminder, and when I feel like lashing out or have very little patience in the moment, I try to catch myself before I respond and think, “how would I respond to this scenario if I was talking to a very good friend?” I find that thinking of this question before I respond allows me to cool down and reply in a way I would feel proud of. It helps take the venom/sarcasm out of the reaction almost immediately. Thanks!!

  • Jean

    Thanks for this. I just rode for the first time with my 16 year old daughter, on the freeway home from her Aviation program. I tried to tell myself , what does she need from me right now. I have anxiety about driving anyway, but we were both going to have to get through this sometime hey, if we’re ever going to get her license. At the end, after the freeway, she showed she forgot where we were going by making a wrong turn. At that moment I forgot to breathe, and got a little sharp. I tried to make my amends, and model an apology as soon as possible.

  • Bryce Norman

    Dallas, thank you again for bravely opening up your heart to all of us and sharing the “journey” of growth in our lives. May we all take this advice and actually apply it to our daily lives. Thank you again for your Whole 30 books as it changed our lives with regard to healthy eating.

  • Kristin

    Yes this is so true, so much easier to see the fault in others than ourselves – honest friends are the best there are 🙂

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