When we are fast asleep, we are generally placid, perhaps even completely still and silent.

If our dream starts to collapse, or we are subtly or substantially bumped towards waking, we might start to stir, or even thrash wildly about. We roll over in bed, throwing figurative elbows at our partner or child or best friend. Those closest to us are always the most bruised by our waking up process.

Being a partner of someone rousing from slumber is no joke; shit gets real.

We don’t mean to throw a vicious elbow or to scream them into adrenalined alertness, but sometimes, we do; I certainly have. It’s wholly unintentional but still painful to be on the receiving end.

A gut punch is a gut punch, even if thrown while I dream of a dragon.

If your dream is collapsing, if you’re waking up to some shadowy parts of yourself, or if you’re overhauling your view of yourself or the universe at large, take some care. Be cognisant that, despite loving you, your partner or parent doesn’t love your elbow to their face or your knee in their ribs.

If you’ve inadvertently terrified or bruised someone close to you as you stir from your deep and not-dreamless slumber, apologise, and recognise that they might not want to sleep in your bed tonight, risking yet another black eye. And that might be a wise, loving choice for them, so don’t be upset if they are iffy on snuggling up to your thrashing ass.

Give them time, do your work, and FFS, stop throwing elbows.

As Ram Dass said, “I can do nothing for you but work on myself… you can do nothing for me but work on yourself.”

Love more, my friends.

Don’t stop waking up, but go easy on those closest to you.

It ain’t easy catching a misplaced elbow.