Do your work and stop throwing elbows

When we are fast asleep, we are generally placid, perhaps even completely still and silent.

If our dream starts to collapse, or we are subtly or substantially bumped towards waking, we might start to stir, or even thrash wildly about. We roll over in bed, throwing figurative elbows at our partner or child or best friend. Those closest to us are always the most bruised by our waking up process.

Being a partner of someone rousing from slumber is no joke; shit gets real.

We don’t mean to throw a vicious elbow or to scream them into adrenalined alertness, but sometimes, we do; I certainly have. It’s wholly unintentional but still painful to be on the receiving end.

A gut punch is a gut punch, even if thrown while I dream of a dragon.

If your dream is collapsing, if you’re waking up to some shadowy parts of yourself, or if you’re overhauling your view of yourself or the universe at large, take some care. Be cognisant that, despite loving you, your partner or parent doesn’t love your elbow to their face or your knee in their ribs.

If you’ve inadvertently terrified or bruised someone close to you as you stir from your deep and not-dreamless slumber, apologise, and recognise that they might not want to sleep in your bed tonight, risking yet another black eye. And that might be a wise, loving choice for them, so don’t be upset if they are iffy on snuggling up to your thrashing ass.

Give them time, do your work, and FFS, stop throwing elbows.

As Ram Dass said, “I can do nothing for you but work on myself… you can do nothing for me but work on yourself.”

Love more, my friends.

Don’t stop waking up, but go easy on those closest to you.

It ain’t easy catching a misplaced elbow.

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  • Paula

    I struggled to connect the dots on this one?

    • Lynn Oshiro

      Sometimes we don’t treat those closest to us gently and kindly as we should. My mom has dementia and as it progresses, she fights when I try to help. She says things that are hurtful, insulting and ungrateful. I can’t change her, but I can choose not to react unless it’s with kindness and patience. I don’t walk her path, but I may someday.

  • Nina-Jo anderson

    What a wonderful way of presenting this …

  • Terri

    The flip side of this is as a parent we get those elbows thrown at us so often by our children as they are growing through each stage of life. It is so important to pull them closer and help them to feel safe as those “nightmares” pass.

  • Laura leso

    Ram dash quote brought it all home for me laura

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