Nourishment vs. Doughnuts, Orgasms, and Facebook Likes
Choosing nourishment over the fleeting pleasure of doughnuts, orgasms, and Facebook ‘likes’ in a society that runs on junk-food connections is a challenge for all of us.
Humans have basic needs: food, water, sleep, sex, safety from physical or psychological harm.
We crave things that are related to our survival: sugar, salt, fat, sex, social acceptance.
And beyond that, we also long for deeper, more meaningful experiences than the fleeting pleasure of a doughnut or an orgasm or some ogling by an attractive member of our preferred gender (especially on the internet).
Sure, those things are lovely, but they will never, ever satisfy us on their own.
If we lack intimacy, a deep sense of belonging, a purpose, a sense of contribution and accomplishment, or experiences where the Self fades away to make space for something greater, we will chase those fleeting pleasures indefinitely.
This partially explains the phenomenon of chasing likes and followers and views and just generally exhibiting attention-seeking behaviour (especially online).
When you are not deeply connected to your tribe, you’ll seek acceptance and affirmation *anywhere* you can find it.
That unmet need for intimacy and connection will find a way to express itself, and you *will* respond to it.
Biology dictates that.
The good news is that you get to choose how you respond: when you notice yourself seeking attention and affirmation, are you asking for it from people you are deeply connected to within your tribe, or are you seeking it from relative strangers?
When you are hungry (for attention and connection), will you choose a deeply nourishing and satisfying meal, or will you settle for the junk that your short-sighted cravings tell you will feel oh-so-good?
PC: @kristinlou11
Angelina Eileen Huntr
What great issues Dallas Hartwig points out.But the problem/issue for so many of us is that we don’t have a “tribe” a place where we truly belong — no family to call on, turned down when we called on our church on behalf of a young person, no children, no spouse, friends of longstanding living in distant places. A few months ago a young minister posed the question as part of his sermon to a congregation whom he could not have known intimately — he said: “Turn to the person to your left and tell them ‘who’s got your back? ” I turned to the woman to my left and said, “You go first.” She answered “My husband and he’s my best friend.” When it came to my turn, I tried to soften my answer by my lead-in when I replied: “Due to the fact that I a new in Colorado, no one has my back.” At the end of the service she could not run from her seat fast enough — it was more information than she wanted to hear but we had been forced by an inexperienced minister to divulge a bit of our truth. It’s the truth for many of us and being outgoing and trying to make REAL in-person connections is the only way I know around this common fact — that for so many of us we have acquaintances but few if anyone we can all on in an emergency or even just when we are sad.
Amy
I totally get where you are coming from. I’m so tired of the whole “find your tribe” line. I’ve been trying for almost 50 years. Still haven’t figured it out. Having a deep, meaningful conversation with someone is nearly impossible. It seems like the only way I can have that is to pay for it, i.e.,a coach or therapist.
Laura
Waiting for what’s good for me & my people is hard when my heart is hurting but you’re definitely speaking truth. Convenience food, attention, sex, whatever is a bandaid on a bullet wound. Asking God to help me seek out what really heals body, mind & spirit.
Laura
Being hungry for whatever is one adjective that is applicable but from personal experience I know reaching for the quick fixes and convenience foods, attention, etc. can come from a place of deep brokenness. Just wanting relief from pain can make it difficult to see and reach for what really heals.
Paula
“This partially explains the phenomenon of chasing likes and followers and views and just generally exhibiting attention-seeking behaviour (especially online).”
Absolutely true.